Preserve Your Values: Create an Ethical Will
Much as I admired Frank Perdue for his success with his family poultry business, I admired him even more for his success as a family man. Since the happiness of the families you advise will depend at least as much on the family members getting along as it will on the success of the family business, it’s worthwhile putting the kind of effort into “family glue” that Frank did.
One of Frank’s efforts towards embedding the values that he felt would make his family happy was incorporated in his ethical will. In fact, it was one of the most meaningful and moving things he did for his family; he didn’t just leave them material things; he also “willed” them his values.
What is an “ethical will”?
Maybe the best way to explain it is by showing what it does. If you recommend to your clients that they create an ethical will, it can play a role in helping the children and those who come after them to have happy, productive lives. An ethical will can accomplish this by putting in writing the values that the head of the family believes will help his or her descendants. Ideally, an ethical will can become part of the family’s culture, and when the children and their children are looking for meaning and identity, an ethical will lets them know, “This is the kind of people we are.”
By the way, ethical wills are not something new; they’ve existed since Biblical times. I suggested that Frank use this ancient practice to help make sure his ideas were codified and could be passed down to future generations.
Frank’s ethical will was something of a joint venture for us. He was receptive to the idea because, by the time he was in his 80s, he had come to believe that people with integrity, that is, people who follow their highest values, will, at the end of the day, lead happier lives. These people gain self-respect, people trust them, and they have successful relationships not just with others, but with themselves.
Family Values
Although Frank believed strongly in the importance of family values, both of us had observed that an inheritance can short-circuit this process. There was a phrase we both related to: “Adversity breeds character. Prosperity breeds monsters.” Frank wanted to help guarantee that the values he cherished were front and center in the family’s culture.
You’ve probably observed, as we did when observing the children of other families of means, that over and over again, wealth without values leads to unhappiness. It can make children vulnerable to destructive behaviors such as, for example, substance abuse. Lack of values can turn heirs into playboys and can accelerate the arc of “shirtsleeves to shirtsleeves in three generations.”
Finishing the Will and its Impact
He and I spent three full days on the project. Frank would dictate his ideas, I’d type them, we’d discuss them, and then I’d type his changes. By the end of the process, there wasn’t a single word that Frank hadn’t put his heart into. He gave it the seriousness it deserved.
At his funeral, each grandchild read one of the parts of it. In the time since, every family member including new members through marriage, received a framed copy of this. Many of them keep Frank’s ethical will on their desk. I often hear family members referring to it, including buttressing an argument or a position by referring to it. It really is part of our family business culture.
Here is Frank’s Ethical Will:
Be honest always.
Be a person whom others are justified in trusting.
If you say you will do something, do it.
You don’t have to be the best, but you should be the best you can be.
Treat all people with courtesy and respect, no exceptions.
Remember that the way to be happy is to think of what you can do for others. The way to be miserable is to think about what people should be doing for you.
Be part of something bigger than your own self. That something can be family, pursuit of knowledge, the environment, or whatever you choose.
Remember that hard work is satisfying and fulfilling.
Nurture the ability to laugh and have fun.
Have respect for those who have gone before and learn from their weaknesses and build on their strengths.
Steps For Helping a Family Create Its Own Ethical Will
Here are some steps that work. Encourage the head of the family you’re advising to go through these steps:
- Analyze the values that work in your family.
- Make a list of all of these values.
- Brainstorm as many as you can. You may find that the ones that weren’t immediately obvious turn out to be the most valuable, so stretch to find more!
- Cut your list down to ten or fewer. A longer list risks losing impact.
- Try it out on some of your family members. They may have insights that are invisible to you.
- Think about it for a few days and then revise it.
- Plan how you’ll use it. Will it be read at your funeral? Do you want family members to know it now? Do you want to have copies engraved on a copper plate, which is given to each family member, signaling the importance of the document? Would you like to have it read at family reunions? Will it be available to non-family members?
- The size of the family business isn’t going to be what makes the family members happiest. The deepest and most enduring happiness comes from loving and intimate relationships with our family members and closest friends. Don’t let the families you advise leave to chance the values that make these kinds of relationships possible.
Originally from http://ffipractitioner.org/2016/01/20/embedding-the-familys-values-by-creating-an-ethical-will/
Search Articles
Latest Articles
Russia’s Ugly Prisoner Exchanges
https://mitziperdue.com/russias-ugly-prisoner-exchanges Boris Semenov, (not his real name) from Bucha, Ukraine had an experience at the hands of the Russian invaders that’s so foreign to us in the West that’s it’s hard for us to process. Still, his story is worth...
Russian Invaders Always Attack Police
When soldiers from the Russian Federation invade a country, a top priority is to incapacitate the local police. The Russians systematically bomb police stations, destroy police communications, and either steal or disable police cars. They’ve done this in each of the 12 wars they’ve been involved with since the Russian Federation was formed in in 1991. (Source)
Russia’s Unusual New Method Of Attack: Fake Bomb Threats
https://www.fairobserver.com/russian-newsrussia-news/russias-unusual-new-method-of-attack-fake-bomb-threats/ Publication – fairobserver.com
The Russian Occupation: a Ukrainian Political Prisoner’s Ordeal
https://townhall.com/columnists/mitzi-perdue/2024/04/06/the-russian-occupation-a-ukrainian-political-prisoners-ordeal-n2637446 Publication – townhall.com
Subscribe to Updates
About Author
Mitzi Perdue is the widow of the poultry magnate, Frank Perdue. She’s the author of How To Make Your Family Business Last and 52 Tips to Combat Human Trafficking. Contact her at www.MitziPerdue.com
All Articles
Women & Atherosclerotic Cardiovascular Disease
Women & Atherosclerotic Cardiovascular DiseaseWOMEN NEED TO BECOME MORE AWARE OF ATHEROSCLEROTIC CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE (ASCVD) A typical woman is more likely to be afraid of breast cancer than heart disease. Yet in this country, roughly 50,000 women will die each...
Contraception: A Call To Action
Contraception: A Call To ActionPOPULATION GROWTH IS DEPLETING RESOURCES NEEDED FOR OUR SURVIVAL The global population is currently 7.2 billion people, and by 2050, it’s projected to be 10 billion. This may have effects we can’t reverse. Humans are the biggest users of...
Dyslipidimia: Problems and Treatments
Dyslipidimia: Problems and Treatments EFFECTIVE LIPID CONTROL CAN INCREASE BOTH THE QUALITY AND LENGTH OF A WOMAN’S LIFE Too many women with dyslipidemia are never discovered or are undertreated. Often they don’t know they have a problem until after they’ve had an...
Breast Cancer: Current Strategies
Breast Cancer: Current StrategiesWITH BREAST CANCER THERE IS NEW REASON FOR OPTIMISM More than two million American women will develop breast cancer in their lifetimes and 39,000 of them will die from it every year. However, even though women who are newly diagnosed...
Sex and Gender Differences In Stroke
Sex and Gender Differences In StrokeWOMEN ARE DISPROPORTIONATELY AFFECTED BY STROKE Stroke is the third leading cause of death for women. For men, it’s the fifth leading cause. Women have a higher lifetime risk of stroke and they are more likely to die from one. In...
Breastfeeding: It’s Not Just Babies Who Benefit
Breastfeeding: It’s Not Just Babies Who BenefitBREASTFEEDING BENEFITS FOR MOTHERS MAY EXCEED THE BENEFITS FOR THEIR BABIES Doctors have long understood the benefits of breastfeeding for infants. Today, more and more people are recognizing the immense benefits of...